To Let Go

Of all the things she let go

she couldn’t let go of herself

Herself to him

Him, who held her heart

and yet not know her within.

Too much was at stake,

she feared to be lost

things she had once

and thought couldn’t again be lost.

To learn by heartbreak

was the hardest lesson of all

Trust, promises, hope; all can break

All relationships will fall.

Of all the things she learnt

she couldn’t learn to trust

her own heart to not be broken

and so she let him go.

I fell for you

When I fell for you

I didn’t fall

Like an autumn leaf

Hanging onto life,

Finally breaking free.

I didn’t fall

Like a shooting star

Too fast, too bright

A passing streak of light

I didn’t fall

Like water in the fall

Without choice,

Without control.

I didn’t fall

Like a cookie

Dipped a bit too long

Crumbling to the bottom

Your love

Was a choice
Not a chance

I'm afraid

I'm afraid of silence
the kind that makes me question
my happiness behind my smiles.

I'm afraid of silence
that echoes back my own thoughts
They are kind of hard to ignore
when I have only them to hear.

I'm afraid of silence
the kind where I can hear the sound
of my tears, plop-plop
one drop at a time.

I'm afraid of silence
the one that sleeps, snoring
between us
I can't hear your heart.

I'm afraid of silence
that makes me feel lonely
in your company

Among all our dirty fights,
fought with angry words,
the slimy taunts and slamming doors
I'm afraid of this silence the most.

I cannot bring a child in this world

I cannot bring a child in this world.

I dare not wish for a girl;
I dread fair skin
an invitation to dark vultures
and dark skin
not treated with fair mind.
That I may teach her
to be strong for herself
yet bow to weak
to protect her.
That I'll tell her
to be a feminist for herself
and feminine for others.

I mustn't wish for a boy;
for then I'm a label
"still wants a boy over a girl"
That I may teach him
to protect his sisters
yet pull him back
from the slug-fest of justice.
That I may instill
the values of gender equality
yet ask him to forget
if he falls in love with him.

I cannot bring a child in this world

Where moral stance
makes for a better status update
and 140 letters
sums up the character set.
Where environment
is a topic to converse
not preserve.
Where home is for work
and work for politics
and politics for corrupt and national TV debates.
Where kindness is a weakness
and ignorance an attitude;
Where living in less is a failure
and aspiring for more a greed.

I cannot bring a child in this world.

When terrorism
is no longer the problem
but a solution.
Evil is the one
that drops bomb
and the good must answer
with two in return;
where Ravana is declared
better than Ram.
Where love is
lost in literature
and war reminds
us of our history.

I cannot bring you, my child, in this world.

I cannot anchor you
on the two parallel pillars
of aesthetics and the ethics;
my love isn't enough
a moral compass.
My sin of inaction today
is far greater than
my moral teachings
to build you
a better tomorrow.

The Road To Home

I went down the road that

shone hollow

like a moonless night.

I walked,

closer to the edge,

into the darkness

of my heart.

I found some old wounds

lying naked

in agony.

They wanted my sore touch

to live again.

They felt undesirable

having been forgotten

for so long.

I found some abandoned dreams

buried below

my consciousness.

They wanted my fresh memories

to reside again.

They felt vain

having been forbidden

for so long.

I found some shattered promises

pierced with

shards of lying words.

They wanted my consoling voice

to believe again.

They felt betrayed

having been denied

for so long.

I found some withering hopes

stifled with

merciless truths.

They wanted my reviving belief

to rise again.

They felt defeated

having been lost

for so long

The sweet pull 

of being wanted,

invited me

in its open arms.

With abundant emptiness

to settle down

in the known comfort of hurt.

And as much as

I wanted to stay,

love pulled stronger

than all the dark forces

ever conjured.

I found that blossoming love

trickling down

the dark abyss

of cold misery

and unforgiving regrets.

It wanted nothing from me,

having found

the rest of me,

after so long.

I found the road,

at last, to Home.

Let My Words Be Free

Staring at a blank page

Hoping words of hope

Will flow

And fill this meaningless vast expanse

But hoping is for naïve

And innocent

I no longer am

For I have seen life

So let me be real

And brutal with my words

Only they can salvage

The wounds of hope

The white allure of the ideal

Let me rip apart

this shroud of goodness,

Muddying the reality

Only honesty can cure

This lie of civility

Do not coat me

With sugar of righteousness

and honor and integrity

These exemplary words

Ring hollow without action

Let me write free

If not live so.

O Night

O Night, why do you come

with your calmness galore?

The boats were rowing,

My emotions aboard, cruising smoothly

The waters seemed clear and blue

Now, in your stillness,

I see the mud too.

O Night, why do you come

With your ceaseless silence?

When people draw curtains

And ready them

For a mindless sleep

Gates of my heart open

The pain seeps out in quiet tears

O Night, why do you come

with your veiling darkness?

It awakens my sleeping demons

My fears and rejections,

Trapped behind sunny smiles

O Night, why do you come

With your unfathomable void

It engulfs my light for life

O Night, come tonight I beg,

with your addictive sleep

So I do not struggle with light.

This contrast is too steep a price

For every dawn of hope